PENNSYLVANIA – Democratic state legislator Christopher Rabb has announced his intention to introduce legislation to enforce “reproductive responsibility” for men.

“Rarely is there a meaningful dialogue,” a memorandum from Rabb said, “around public policy focusing on the personal responsibility of cisgender men in this sphere.

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“Therefore, I will be introducing legislation that will require all inseminators to undergo vasectomies within 6 weeks from having their third child or 40th birthday, whichever comes first.”

“All inseminators,” of course, means all men.

The memo was sent to all Pennsylvania House members to attempt to garner co-sponsors for the bill.

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“Further,” the memo continued, “this legislation will allow Pennsylvanians to take civil action for unwanted pregnancies against inseminators who wrongfully conceive a child with them. This legislation will also empower Pennsylvanians to enforce this new law by offering a $10,000 reward for reporting to the proper authorities those scofflaws who have not complied with this statute within the allotted timeframe.”

To clarify, this is offer a $10,000 reward for anyone who reports a man who has not taken away his ability to procreate in the allotted time or after the allowed number of children.

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“As long as state legislatures continue to restrict the reproductive rights of cis women, trans men and non-binary people,” Rabb says, “there should be laws that address the responsibility of men who impregnate them. Thus, my bill will also codify ‘wrongful conception’ to include when a person has demonstrated negligence toward preventing conception during intercourse. 

“What’s good for the goose is good for the gander!” 

State Representative David Rowe showed dismay at the idea of controlling the American population while illegal immigrants flood the border. “If there was any doubt that today’s progressive left have utterly and completely disregarded your personal medical freedom,” he posted on social media, “then let this be the nail in the coffin.

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“A legislator from Philadelphia has just introduced legislation that would limit how many children your family could have, dictate what age you could have a family, and would issue a TEN THOUSAND DOLLAR FINE for refusing to submit to forced sterilization after having three children. As a fourth-born child myself, I would have never existed under this law and neither would so many others.

“This bill will never see the light of day as long as Republicans control the House, but I wanted you all to be aware how quickly policies that belong in Communist China would become the norm here if Democrats seized total control of State Government.”