“I’ve never seen this before in 15 years,” professed UK funeral director John O’ Looney as he held up a tube of a long, stringy material found in the arteries of a deceased 30-year-old male.

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“This white stuff grows in different people at different rates. If the planets align, and you grow it particularly quickly, and you have narrow arteries, you’re going to fall over and you’re going to die because you’re going to block up quicker. And that’s what we’re seeing with all these footballers and athletes in record numbers that are dying suddenly.”

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